A Portrait of the Man b​/​w What Would Change

by Matt LeMay

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about

Two songs, both more or less about being a teenager. My first "solo" material.

credits

released 29 November 2011

Written, performed and mixed by Matt LeMay. Recorded by Matt LeMay and Nick Sylvester. Mastered by TW Walsh.

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Track Name: A Portrait of the Man
Don’t stop
I’ve already waited longer than anyone should
I started as soon as I could
So let’s make it up...

But I’m fine, I get by without anyone’s help
I get up, I get out, I get over myself
Alright, so maybe I’m not quite the man I thought
Entitled or not....

It's the same damned thing every time I try
It’s the same damned thing every time I try not to get fucked...
... or to get fucked!
... or get fucked up
Like I wanted that stuff...

Oh, to be young!
And aware of each slight and each stare
When each one of us bears the full cost of being apart from the pack
Are you scared to look back and say,
"I didn't know we were still growing up!"

So come out, all you lonely young men
And speak up before it’s your turn!
The odds are you’re gonna get burned, but you’ll shake it off!

And you’ll see you’re no better than anyone else
I gave in, I gave out, I gave up on myself
... and I’d give up anyone else just to get along
When everything sounds wrong

It's the same damned thing every time I try
It’s the same damned thing every time I try to forget...
... to forget what I can’t spit up!
As if it was that tough...

Oh, to be young!
And to care if it's right, if it's fair
Every one of us wears a heart like a badge on our breast
So we fake, till we find a mistake and shut up

"These are the best things that I've ever known
... and it's never enough!"
Track Name: What Would Change?
I don’t know where we are
How can it be so hard to tell if I’m still the boy you like the best of all?
We grew up together
And I always thought we’d wind up the same

But we're not the same
Don't say it's above me
I'm not a saint
You're supple and lovely
We'll find our way, just say this is something you want...

...or would you lead me there when I least expect?
We'll arch our backs and we'll bend our necks
And we won't dare to talk about what comes next
Could it be any less?
Could it be any less than the best thing?
And could it be we've both been waiting for something to break?
You can't be smart when your heart's at stake
Are we awkward for awkward's sake?
And if this is a test, did you get the best of me?

So, have we risked it all?
Would you kill me with a call?
Would you keep me up all night waiting for the things you can’t un-say?
“Your best-laid plans, just blow them away!

We can start today
All you could ask for is ours to take
If you take me on fast enough”
Fire away!
Don’t wait till the summer is gone

You say you don't know what to say
(“I say my lines and stay awake”)
I'm off the cuff, I'm on the take
But you say, "ok"
("Ok")
Come on and cut us a break!

So what would change?
I want you to touch me
We're still the same
It's not like you love me